Home Healthy living Understanding the dying process. Understanding the dying process It is important to remember that just as people are unique, so too is their death. It is important that this is understood by family and visitors. Anxiety and confusion. Terminal restlessness can be caused by a range of things and sometimes calming drugs are needed.
Playing soft music that the person enjoys can be soothing. Difficulty communicating. If they become unconscious, they will still know you are there and hear the voices around them. Managing pain. As an unconscious person might still feel pain, so pain medication will continue to be given. Loss of appetite. Most people lose their appetite in the last few weeks of life.
Becoming unconscious. Maintaining mouth and eye care is very important at this time. Breathing changes. Once death has occurred. When this happens a doctor will usually come and confirm the death. You may wish to contact a close friend or relative to be with you for support. Take your time to say goodbye. Often patients who are about to die will shed a single tear, and in some instances a second tear.
This phenomenon known as lacrima mortis or the tear of death is a source of mystery that transcends this mortal realm. But mystery surrounds this event. Lwema Matthew relates the story of a blind nine-year-old with a terminal illness who said he was in contact with three angels and was able to accurately describe what people were wearing even though his eyes had been surgically removed.
Palliative care workers and family members attending the dying have often witnessed the shedding of a single tear, or often two, as a loved one leaves this world. As he was passing and we were talking to him, a tear welled up in his eye. I went and sat beside him… telling him I loved him Physical signs Text. The following symptoms are often a sign that the person is about to die: They might close their eyes frequently or they might be half-open Facial muscles may relax and the jaw can drop Skin can become very pale Breathing can alternate between loud rasping breaths and quiet breathing.
Towards the end, dying people will often only breathe periodically, with an intake of breath followed by no breath for several seconds. This can be upsetting to witness as the person seems to stop breathing only to start again. There might be one or two last gasps a minute or so after what seemed like the last breath, before breathing eventually stops. When someone dies Text.
A tear is natural -- the eyes are partially open and have been for days or even weeks. There is a drying out of the eyes and the body is trying very hard to produce moisture.
It seems poetic to believe the tear is sadness or emotionally based. The person at the moment of death is so withdrawn from their body that they are not expressing emotions or even feeling emotions. Their work is that of the little chick working to get out of the shell. They have already withdrawn from what goes on around them days or even weeks before this moment.
Sighs, moans, gurgles, and soundless cries are all part of the normal, natural way a person dies. We, with our fear and deep sadness of the moment, react and hold on to every expression as if it has meaning. What does have meaning and is important is that the person who is actively dying can, on some unconscious level, hear. Imagine standing outside watching and experiencing a beautiful piece of nature. You are caught up in the splendor of the moment and from a distance you hear someone speaking to you, calling to you.
You hear but softly from a distance. I believe that is how the person actively dying hears us. We, the watchers, need to say what is in our hearts hopeful we have taken the opportunity to do that long before this moment and then after we have said our goodbyes just be a presence.
Touch, hold, be love as we walk to the end of life with our special person. When a loved one enters the dying process, it would be so helpful to know what to expect, what to look for. After being at the bedside of hundreds of deaths, I decided to write a hand book for families to help them navigate these waters.
Gone From My Sight is the first and most widely used handbook on the signs of approaching death. Churches, families, social workers, nurses, chaplains need this book. Do you have yours? It was sad and I can see why it was confusing to you having seen your mother die differently but he died the way so many die.
His eyes being open is how most people die—one eye open, one eye partially closed, both eyes wide open, both eyes partially closed, so many different ways but mostly open in some form. I do believe he knew you were there. For him all was like a dream. He could hear but like you would hear and be aware if you were not quite awake from a deep dream, all distant and detached.
I also believe he knew and felt your love and support.
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